The new one

Yesterday I gave myself a present. One has to do that once in a while, don’t you agree? I gave myself a new iPad. FINALLY!

I have wanted a new one for quite a long time. The old one is 6 years old, and it was not the latest edition even then. It is an iPad Air, 9,7 inches, and with only 16 GB capacity. Not much at all, these days.

I haven’t been able to store photos or have it connected to Pictures for a long time. That has been quite annoying. Can only have few Apps, and now, with the latest update, it told me I had to delete some. My favorite, an HD Jigsaw puzzle, was the heaviest of them, even heavier than Pictures, with its almost a whole GB.

It IS annoying! Isn’t it!

So I gathered my financial possibilities, counted… and counted again.. And then I made the decision! Then I left home on the bike…

Well! I did do some googling first of course. Applestore isn’t exactly the most inexpensive place to buy Apple stuff.
Found what I wanted – biked along to the store in question – and purchased it!

An iPad Air, 10,5 inches, and with 256 GB storage!

The first I did after I had everything installed and ready to use, I added every app I had on the cloud that might be interesting to keep. Everything concerning photos, editing, and drawing. Coloring apps. A couple of interesting educating games like Elevate and Clockwork brain training. Everyday apps for like train departures, a couple of radio stations, Fork over knives (vegan recipes). iBooks, Kindle and BookBeat (listening to books) of course, a dictionary, and even a couple teaching English grammar….. And so on…

Suddenly I had filled up 18 GB. HAHAHAHA!

I don’t think I will keep all those apps, I’ll test them one by one, keep those I like, but it feels so great to be able to have them! To have space for all those I want to have easy access to.

The old one – And the new one just before attaching the charging wire to awake it
Screenshot – Saturday, 8 Aug – 8:45 PM – all is settled

Pouring my heart out

Yesterday I was whining over the non-profit association I am participating in. And I kept on whining after I had finished writing, whining to myself, until I was really irritated. Oh! let me say it straight out! I was so pissed off! (Sometimes one needs to be vulgar, sorry about that…)

The fact that I have spent lots and lots of hours on this project for four months now – a public gardening area I think it might be called – and not taking proper time off to relax, is my fault. I am dealing with that now, taking enough time off.

I have made a homepage, a blog, an Instagram account, and a Facebook page – and been trying to run those as well. They look gorgeous, but running them doesn’t fit into my expectations. In other words – I don’t do it often enough! For goodness sake! Nothing is happening worth writing about!

I have dealt now with my need for relaxing-time, time for myself. I do what I have to do – a lot of marketing has been done these last weeks – and then I put it all aside and do my things. Biking tours and walks, sitting on the balcony listening to either a book or to Kryon on Youtube or watching a movie. I also meet friends and family now and then. Not thinking about what I should do – even if there are things I should do.

So…. if the end is good then all is good?
Yes and no! I have set work aside from now on and enjoy what I do at the present moment, but there are occasions when I have to go to the garden and meet the other. I have lost almost all interest in doing so.

Don’t get me wrong, most of them are nice people. I just don’t want to spend most of my time with them, as if that is the only life I have!

I was supposed to, when I finally retired, to spend time with myself and my Mac! I was supposed to – at least in my mind – to spend most of my days writing, and making long bike tours. Mainly, not only.

Shortly: first some things happened – no writing; then I moved back to my hometown – and accidentally began to drive my eldest grandson back and forth to his work in a neighboring city, he had no driver’s license then. For more than two years I did that!!! Not much writing, not enough biking! Stress building up!
Immensely!!! Got high blood pressure – didn’t know – got a TIA (a mini-stroke). Had luck. It wasn’t severe, more like a wake-up call for me.

SO THEN – I began sitting at the library – writing! BUT got headhunted (haha) after just a couple of months, which led to this current situation. Randomly writing – trying to – mostly NaNo and such.

I have been losing weight since the beginning of September. 15 kilograms so far (ca 33-33,5 pounds) Feel good! Feel beautiful! Have bought a lot of new clothes. Tight jeans and such. From L and XL to S and M. If I feel happy and satisfied! OF COURSE, I DO!!! And everything was – and on the whole IS – fine!

And now???
Wish I knew… was back at the doctors last week,
blood pressure a bit too high… again?????
Stress???

Now! Back to the gardening issues!
There is one fairly young woman who irritates me immensely. Not me in particular, but maybe I tend to react more to that kind of behavior. She is so full of her self. Not mean, she has kind sides as well. But sooooo tiresome and tedious. And sometimes she is mean! And lazy… never get her things done…

I am not even sure I can describe this fully! She thinks she is superior to everyone else, she talks talks talks – showering people with words! Doesn’t perform what she is supposed to do – and for some odd reason, she is the secretary.

She just sat there at the first meeting this year, and took for granted that she was the secretary! And as often is, no one else was suggested nor anyone offered him- or herself… and so she was the secretary! And she thinks she knows how it should be done!

😉

She is often telling others how clever she is, how much she knows, how experienced she is, everyone else in the world is idiots because they don’t “get” her (she has really said that) – and she never gets her tasks done! She keeps on lecturing about drugs, medicines, what she is taking, what she is not taking, what she has been taking… and then she talks about her 6-year-old son, endlessly, and he seems to be diagnosed with every letter in the alphabet… pour kid! He seems to be quite nice, you know! Says I, who has a grandson who is/was extremely ADHD. One of the worst.
He is grown up now…

Upon that she can’t handle not being the one and only superior one. She can’t even admit that someone else can be as knowledgeable and skillful as she claims herself to be!

At a board meeting quite recently, there were only four of us. I and the chairman, she and her mother. Both are members of the board. She didn’t feel well that day, she has a lot of issues, also some letters, and at one moment she was bragging about how skillful she is in writing. And after like a long time of that bragging, I said, I too am very good when it comes to writing. (As a matter of fact, I am much better. I have seen how she writes. She is not bad, but certainly not as excellent as she claims.)

So I just mentioned that I too was skilled, and not in a particularly loud voice, and she freaked out totally! She screamed at me that I just told her she was an idiot, and I don’t remember any longer what else she said. I got devastated and very very sad. It hurt so much.

Her mother calmed her down though, said it wasn’t meant like that. She swallowed some of her pills and we tried to finish the meeting as soon as possible. A bad, sad person had a bad day. By the way, she never apologized to me.

Okay! I can’t write all down what I have seen, heard, and experienced around her, but one thing more I will tell you. That what finally made me totally pissed off yesterday, though it had been nagging me for some time.

One of her duties is to search for funds suitable for us as a non-profit gardening association. That is one of the things she always is bragging about. How good she is in doing that, how often she has done it, also helped others. Oh yes… she is sooooo clever…. so skilled… such experience… (You notice my irony, don’t you?)

She did offer herself already in January at our first association meeting, and I was so glad I didn’t have to do those things. I hate it, I get over-nervous when trying to… panicking actually. I have tried, because of a job-task I had to perform a couple of years ago, so I know how I react.

About a month ago, after several reminders from the chairman, she finally mailed him a list. Links… for him and me to go through, download application blankets, fill in them accurately (oh, that is a hateful work task, so many ”proofs” of this and that which are needed).

When I saw that list, which was quite long despite she had been told to pick out a few, to begin with… when I read through the short description of what one could apply for… I just thought …. How stupid is she really?

We are supposed to survive as a gardening association, first of all, this year! Then slowly we might grow into something more. A small cafeteria maybe, Like coffee and ice-cream during the summer.

Not taking care of handicapped and sick old people, not taking care of and tutoring children and teenagers that are lost in society and need extra attention.

We want to create a place for everyone that lives in our neighborhood. Create a place where everyone is welcome to sit down for a while in peace and stillness, meeting friends, barbecue, having coffee, make new acquaintances over the barrier of age, gender, language, culture, religion, skin color, and so on. And hopefully – also some who want and can grow plants and weed… taking care of the garden…

This is about integration! To make a difference towards more peace and safety in our neighborhood! And since this area also is expanding a lot, new buildings are built, older ones are renovated, new people are moving here, it will overall be a more expensive area. A little bit posher.

It is pinpointed by the city itself, together with the poshest place in the city. The harbor area where now really magnificent properties are built, with very expensive condominiums to be. And hotels, restaurants, conference utilities and so on.
The whole city is growing, and growing fast, in a very positive direction – as is also our neighborhood.
That was almost a pamphlet, wasn’t it?

So finally! Why did I get so upset?
Monday! I was in the garden when she came with her mother and some other people. Hi, she said, and then she showered me with words.

First about watering the garden areas. It was so tiresome and took so long to do it. And we needed to buy this and we needed to buy that… 5 water hoses och several sprinklers and… for goodness sake! We don’t have a that big garden! And most of the flowers and bushes are planted inside pallet rims. Like smaller or larger boxes! We can’t have sprinklers! Those areas of the lawn aren’t bigger than we can water it with the hose! She said what she said as if she had done it all by herself, but later I heard that her mother had been helping her.

Besides! She had volunteered herself to water the areas for two weeks in a row, and after eight days she had only done it once, the first day when she got the key.
Before long, just a couple of days, the soil was of course all dried up. A rockery was about to fall apart, it was made fairly recently and the plants were yet not particularly big. Hadn’t finished rooting themselves.

There was a corner where her son had planted seeds – they were dead. She didn’t tell me this. Another woman did. A very nice woman.

After the topic of watering, she began babbling about the funds, and she offered to help me to do them since she was so clever and knew so well how to do that! Note bene – she always uses 1000 words when only 10 are needed…

At that point, I said we don’t have that kind of money to buy hoses, and then I left.

Tuesday I met with this friend with whom I spoke about writing, among other things, and began longing so much to write my own stuff, that all the work I have done for the association… well… I didn’t want to do that any longer! For a moment I wanted to quit it all.

But then I reminded myself there was some fun and good stuff in this as well. I just need to not overdo anything, only reasonably do my work and make sure I get enough free time when I do what I want, for my own benefit!

And I certainly don’t want to do HER duties! There goes the line! It would be a pity, but in a way – it’s not my personal business whether this association lives or dies out to lack of money, is it?
No, it isn’t.

I have other friends I rather prefer to meet. Okay, some of these people I wouldn’t mind consort with more, but preferably not when She is around.

If you have read all this, all the way down here, I must applaud you, and thank you!
I have no illusions this has been a brilliant nor even mildly interesting text. I guess I first of all needed to get this stuff off my chest. If anyone else got something positive out of it in any way, even if it only created a burst of huge laughter, I give it humbly away.

Made it

So I won! What’s the big deal? Anything to be proud of? What I won? And why isn’t it a big deal? Isn’t always winning something a big deal?

So! I’m talking about CampNaNoWriMo. I won. I reached my goal. And that I’m proud of. I also wrote almost every day during July. Only three days I didn’t, and those are accounted for. I mean, I had a fair reason not to write those days.

How many? Oh, words, you mean. Well! My goal was only for 21 000 words – to make sure I didn’t freak out, out of unnecessary pressure. I reached that goal on July 24th with 21 229 words. Not bad, ah?!?!? At the end of the month, I had written 27 545 words. So I exceeded my goal. 😀

I know, 21 000 words in a month aren’t much for many of you. Once that wasn’t much for me either. Especially not when I wrote in my mother tongue, Swedish. But I have learned from a couple of years when trying to accomplish the goals of NaNoWriMo, that the pressure of “must” write 1667 words, or 1200 words or something else like a precise minimum of words, makes the writing so much more difficult for me, to fulfill my expectations.

Therefore I decided to only go for 700 words per day on average, 21 000 words in total. That was a really good decision! Writing 700 words is easy, and then it just went on. I made it, and most of the days I exceeded that goal. Most of all – happy me – I didn’t feel any stress at all. So therefore – I became a winner!

The three days I didn’t write? Well! The first one I have already told you about. That was the day I found out that WP had made it possible to change colors on our themes, and I just had to test one theme after the other. I had so much fun that I totally forgot about the time. Suddenly it was after Midnight.

The second day was the day my youngest daughter was visiting, and the third was now, on the 31st, when my middle daughter celebrated her birthday. But who cares about writing then!

Earlier today I was talking to a friend of mine about writing. Nothing deep nor particularly wise, but I told her about older times when I wrote so much! Especially between 2006 and 2012. I wrote short stories, was working on a bunch of novels – one finished – not good enough – I was blogging REGULARLY, ALMOST DAILY!!!! And I made lots of beginnings, excerpts, wrote down ideas, and so on.

BUT! And that is a huge BUT! I also attended several creative writing night-schools, joined study-groups, participated in short-story-contests, and so on. Now I have nothing of that in my life.

The city I lived in between early 2006 and early 2017, had several opportunities to join one class or another. And I did! All the time! A couple of semesters I joined three different night schools just because of the fun of it! Meeting writing friends. Exchange experiences. Getting lots and lots of inspiration and feedback from others!

Here, I have nothing of that! I searched for night schools when I came back home in 2017, but couldn’t find any. Except there were some at the library – for youth only. Under 25… 2018 – the same… last year there were two, art the same place. For beginners…

Sorry folks! I am over 25 and I am not a beginner.

But talking to my friend made me long so much for more regular writing, to actually DO something! Daily! Because it’s joyful! And now I’m also stuck with that non-profit association… being the treasurer AND the webmaster AND working with the marketing… making posters… trying to find sponsors ……… ANY SPONSOR!!!!!

Not all alone! I do it together with the chairman, but… I have a feeling it’s becoming a bit too much. Okay! So now I try to cut down on that time, being careful not to bother about that every day. Take time off OFTEN and don’t participate in all the meetings. That is – of course – I have to join the board meetings. After all, I am the treasurer… the head next to the chairman…

And now, today, after that talk with my friend, I have so much begun to long for writing again. Catching up on at least one of my novel-beginnings – and keep on writing in Swedish again. I am almost crying inside…

At the same time – there is some good and fun also in that association. I am growing, since I now can use my knowledge and my experience from the past, and I get so much appreciation for what I am doing. That feels good! Really good!

I guess I just have to find a way to do both! I admit I waste too much time on petty nothingness! But don’t we all? At least sometimes? I have a game on the iPad… what do you have?

By the way! I did continue writing on “The Solar Eclipse”… (which isn’t an eclipse at all… )

#CampNaNoWinner2020

Oh…ohhh…

Something happened that I thought wouldn’t happen. And I blame WordPress. You see! Yesterday I forgot to write further on my novel and add it to CampNaNoWriMo. Such a… such a… OH! I don’t know what kind of “such a…”!

But I was in such a good win streak, though! Been writing for eleven days in a row, and during those days I have written almost 3000 words more than if I had followed exactly what I had set up as a goal. The story had begun to become very exciting, and I so much want to know what is happening next!
Disappooooiiiinted!!!

Here is why I forgot, and why I blame WordPress for it!

No, I didn’t eat candy instead! That’s just Pixabay… and colorful…

BUT! Early in the evening, yesterday, I was updating my Swedish blog, which has also been neglected too much lately. When I looked at it, I thought, isn’t that orange background a bit too orange?

Before I go further, you must know I just love to do layouts! Any kind of layout! But in this case – the layouts of my blogs. With WordPress themes to work with and, when possible, changes of colors, backgrounds, adding this, or adding that… even exchange the entire theme to another one once in a while.

One could say: Me and “theme-work-layout-work” (haha) is somewhat like what  a drug might be for an addict. I can’t resist playing around with different themes, testing color schemes and such. And I really do prefer those old themes. They have so much more personality than the new modern ones. (And that’s just my opinion! I know there are blogs out there, more or less pure white, something small added and then the text in black, which are simply beautiful!) But I, I can easily let an entire evening pass by, being occupied trying on different blog-themes, testing different color schemes.

Now, I think that you think, that you have already figured out what this is all about. HAHA!!! You don’t even know half of it!

WordPress has opened up the costume design for free! I have absolutely no idea whether this is only temporary, or if it will remain that way. (Or if it’s still there today! Must go and have a look.) I tried to find some information about it, but couldn’t find any. Have any of you some ideas about this?

My first thought was, that I some years ago had this costume design tool on one of my blogs, but had deleted it. (I loved it though.) But was there some kind of malfunction that it had stuck on the blog instead of being deleted? Then I realized, that particular blog I don’t even have any longer. (Still regret I deleted that one. Was old, born in 2009)

Now my interest had raised, and I checked out every blog I have. (Five, in all, but one is private and totally empty.) Everyone had access to costume design! NOW! I lost myself!

On that Swedish blog, which also is fairly old, since 2011, and thus also have quite a lot of the old themes still there, I began playing!!!! I tested one theme after the other, not everyone I tested but most of them had this costume design available.

Now I got really crazy – addicted??? – and suddenly I happened to see what time it was… ALMOST ONE O’CLOCK! … IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT !!!

I am not sure for how long I had been sitting there on the sofa with the MacBookPro on my knees, playing with themes and colors. But it was several hours, I promise!

Maybe I now should make sure I begin writing on my novel before it is too late. But! I still have 3 hours to go before midnight and the deadline. I just have to figure out what is happening now over there. In my fantasy-land.

I’m just adding colors to this….

 

… it’s still there on the blogs , the costume design, and may it stay there forever

… and by the way, I also changed the colors slightly on “Thoughts & Ponderings” (as it happened, I  read the latest posts there as well… hmmm… better than I remembered them to be…)

Surprise surprise

It was supposed to be 700 per day only…

… or not. It was supposed to be the minimum!
😀 😀 😀

When the stress goes out – the words come in
but only God knows what will become of this.

 

Remember…

catch the last warm hours
before the winter comes,
cherish in your memory
and taste them more than once
the sweetness of the autumn flowers
the softness of the sun
close your eyes
– remember –
back again, they will come

 

(Poem from October 2014.
The photo from June 25, this year, I took at the place where we use to buy our plants to the non-profit organization)

Wet, wet, wet

A couple of days ago, I told you it finally had begun raining. That was next to nothing. Now, it really has begun raining. Except for the first couple of hours early this morning, it has been pouring down the entire day. It’s so welcome, it was really needed! But probably it’s yet not enough to turn that drought into a more normal state. So keep on raining for a while longer. Why not the entire week? To fill up the depot in the ground, that is supposed to be there.

I have spent the day on the sofa. A slight cold, mostly bothering my muscles, made me take the opportunity to do “nothing” today. Nothing but reading, writing and so on, that is. A little bit boring now when it’s early evening, but soon I’ll have dinner and then begin today’s session of writing to CampWriMo.

This is not my sofa, and this is not my dog since I have no dog. And I am not a dog, what that matter. But I like the image from Pixabay

So! Three days have gone with this task, and I’m doing well. Didn’t set the rib too high this time, and it seems that I have made the right choice. So far it has paid off! No stress, only an average of 700 words a day is needed, and with three day’s behind me I have now written 3105 words. There is something going on in the story that both surprises me and makes me curious of what will happen.

Maybe I should have my dinner now, so I can begin writing afterwards. 😉

Maybe something like this? No! I have no chickpea-pasta left. But I have some whole grain rice ready to eat. Yes! I eat the vegan way!

So I did!

Or rather – to be honest – I continue on the one I’m working on.

It’s so thrilling! What will happen in the story when I continue writing this afternoon? Me? I have absolutely no idea! But that’s the usual way I do it.

Yesterday some new people were entering the story. One thought the area he saw was “as huge as the big assembly hall in the monastery”!!!

What??? Who are those people? They seemed so extremely technically advanced! And that person  – a monk??? – what was that person doing up in the Orb? Spying? Disconnected from his (hers?) body and all… thanks to some electronic devices… including some kind of built-in videocamera… and then some malfunction occurred so he (she?) got disconnected from the staff below that was monitoring him (her?).

And the question now is – among other – is he alone up there?… in the orb… like halfways between the planet and the sun…

Why did I at first take it for granted that this character was a “he”, and thus a monk?

Exclamation mark… exclamation mark…

(Who knows… I might delete this part later. The main issue now, is to let the words flow without hesitation or regrets – and no editing. Not now!)

Finally it’s raining

And finally, I’m here again. Both good – but in different ways. The rain because we all need it. Nature needs it. And I’m good because I need to be. To be back in writing mood.

It’s been almost three months since my last post. Well! I’ve been busy, you know! I just didn’t think this involuntary pause would last for such a long time. But now – I decided, and I made this decision very clear, first of all to myself, but also to some other people in my environment. Now was the time for writing here again! Finally!

Not only because of CampNaNoWriMo – but I guess that task helps to put another “do it” upon me. So, I’ve started. Today, I have! Embrace me and say “Halleluja”!

I’ve experienced a couple of times now, that too many words per day stresses me too much. I don’t feel well while writing, and later I have to throw away so much garbage that I have written. So 50 000 words in July is totally out of the question! Also 24 000 feels a bit too much, but 18 000 too little. So in the end I settled for 21 000 words. That’s 700 per day. Better to reach that amount – and keep on writing more, than forcing myself to write 1000, 1200 or 1600 words per day –  and then have to throw most of them away in the garbage dump. If I even will continue writing! I failed in April, you know! Forced me too hard!

But today! I reached for 700 – and got 923. See! I told you so!

I decided to keep on working with “The Solar Eclipse”. Part three now. And it seems to be heading towards the end. One fraction after the other is gathering in the city, and the big battle is getting closer… and closer…

So! That’s it! I managed to write a blog post here as well. Should really be writing something for my Swedish blog  too, and to the one about Food and Health. Also in Swedish.

And I should really do some homework! Like cleaning and such boring matter. Or I’ll stick that until really dark, vet and cold days? Nahhh… those days, such days, I’d rather prefer to read. Or something else that is cosy.

Day six – of CampNaNoWriMo

Image “Texture” – from Pixabay

”I don’t want to do this today.”
”Okay.”
”I don’t want to talk about it, this former part of my life.”
”You don’t have to!”
”I don’t even want to think about it!”
”So, don’t!”
”It’s been so much, today.”
”Okay.”
”After breakfast, I biked to the mall and bought thin pillows for my chairs on the balcony, and since it was beautiful weather I biked an extra round on my way home and got some really awful pain in the back due to that. I probably pushed myself too hard.”
”How far?”
”Only 9 miles.”
”But that’s good! How are you now?”
”Pretty well, thank you. But I got tired and then very sleepy after lunch so I slept on the sofa for a while. And of course, swallowed some painkillers.”
”Good for you!”
”And all the time I was thinking, I had to work on that website I’m creating for our non-profit organization! But the clock just tick-tocked away the hours.”
”And you?”
”What?”
”Did you tick-tock away the hours?”
”Haha! Could say! After my nap, I went out on the balcony, sat there reading in the sunshine for a couple of hours.”
”How nice!”
”Though I should have worked on that website…”
”Of course.”
”You see, the winter has been so long, so dark and so cold…”
”I know.”
”And now finally it was warm… and all blue sky… and the sun was shining so warm and lovely.”
”Of course you should sit on the balcony then.”
”Yeaahhh…”
”And relax for a while.”
”But I should have done the website…”
”I know.”
”But the back-pain eased up a bit. Slowly… it got less hurtful… less stiff…”
”Good for you.”
”I had also placed an add to sell my bed”!
”Aha.”
”And there was this person who wanted to buy it. They will come tomorrow and fetch the bed.”
”Good!”
”And later there were a lot of people who mailed me about the bed!”
”Oh gosh!”
”Some I dismissed at once, and some I answered I might already have a buyer. They were nice, so I decided to be nice.”
”So what do you do now?”
”Wait ’til tomorrow and hope those who said they will buy the bed won’t change their minds!”
”Of course!”
”I had begun writing the texts to the website from the brief notes I had but got interrupted all the time for a couple of hours.”
”Really?”
”Really. And then I knew you would come.”
”Yes.”
”There was absolutely nothing in my head to talk around!”
”Oh, I see!”
”All empty, you know!”
”I know!”
”Not good with an empty head, when you’re supposed to work on a website.”
”Of course, not!”
”And certainly not if you’re supposed to solve your problems!”
”What problems?”
”Oh! Stupid! You know!”
”I do? Oh yes! Yes, I do.”
”So now what?”
”How do you mean?”
”Are we gonna work on my memories today or not?”
”Do you want to?”
”No!”
”Do you feel up to it?”
”No!”
”Then we don’t! Not today! But how about tomorrow? Same place, same time?”
”Okay! See you!”
”See you!”

From Pixabay