Every day I listen to the Podcast “A course in… What?!”
A course in miracles, in other words.

Very often I lose my concentration.
Some of it I don’t get.
Most of it actually…

But sometimes I actually catch a glimpse of something.
And that glimpse touches me.
Gives me something!

I’ve heard, that when you start to study The Course, the Ego reacts and wont stand it, and  – hence – you can feel the most unpleasant things. Get really ill actually! So! Are these ( highly worsened) stomach-things, muscle-things, pain-things… caused by listening more regularly to the Course? Is the Ego trying to stop me from listening?

OKAY OKAY! I KNOW!
I’m not actually studying the course!!! Just listening to it!
Or at least trying to…
As good as it gets…

But nevertheless???

Well, anyway! If so! The ego wont succeed. I’ll keep on listening. I like it, even though it’s not easy to understand.

Together with reading  Alice Millers books – “Breaking Down the Wall of Silence” and “The Drama of the Gifted Child” so far – something IS really happening in me. With me.

Physically – I feel awful. Psychologically – oh gosh… Especially since I’ve now started to realize so much more about myself, my mom, and the lack of love and respect from her when I was growing up.

Thank God, I had my dad.

Painting by Erik Olson –  Dead horizon