Today I have written a blog post – The next book – about Hemingway, a kind of revue after been listening to his novel, “The sun also rises”. Good stuff! 😉
Have also gathered all those old Word documents I found yesterday into one, and uploaded the entire text to Scrivener. Read all of it, and found I could divide the text into two separate memory banks.
I also saved these two different documents in Pages. Not particularly necessary to meddle more than I have to with Word and Microsoft.
The first circa 75% was about my childhood, where I lived, and what the house looked like. Also about my family and how we lived. Mom, Dad, brother, sister, grandma. Nothing odd or special, really. Pretty nice, and feels good to have those nostalgic notations.
I had named this part “The house of my Childhood”, and not only meaning the actual building. Don’t think I will do anything special with this part though. At least not at present time.
30 pages and 17 510 words…
The other circa 25% text, was all about my first husband, who also is the father of my three daughters. Not a pretty reading. Not at all. Not a pretty life I had way back then…
When I originally wrote this, I had named this part “Memories of a Vampire”. Of course, literally speaking he was no vampire, but it is possible to suck the life blood out of someone in other ways…
Have absolutely no idea now, whether or not I’ll use this in some story of sort. But I feel I need to use this to be able to continue working with myself. Many years of anxiety, overeating, low self esteem, muscle pain etc, has a lot to do with the years I spent with him. And probably the pain and stiffness I still have in my body.
So there is a reason for everything! I needed this information, this push, to be able to continue my healing process. And I got it!
It felt awful to read this part! It really hurt in many ways to be reminded of all that happened to me, to my kids, to his parents, to other people…
And now I saw him a bit objectively in my text – what a manipulative beast he was.
I can’t say I feel particularly well now, with a lot of memories popping up. But I’m okay! All that is in the past, and can’t hurt neither me nor anyone else anymore.
11 pages and 6513 words