Stage fright

When watching all those movies and TV-series, when reading all those books, when pondering all that I have written so far – is it beyond my reach, to write a whole novel?

Maybe I’m a bit morbid or something right now, for some reason, but there are all those thoughts rambling around in my head.

Do I doubt myself, my ability to write?

Not per se! I can write, I don’t doubt that. I know grammar – and I specifically mean the Swedish now – and I know how to spell. I can show instead of tell, and I’m really good at writing dialogues. I can “use” the language to build images for the reader, make them feel they are there, in the middle of the story…

But can I build an entire novel?

I can write short stories! And I do it well. Short stories are easy to write. Few persons. One scenery. One event. No other persons stories or actions. Not too long. I only have to focus on what actually happens, and make it live.

But can I build an entire novel?

I have always loved to watch movies and series, but lately, I’ve been indulging myself a lot in those worlds. I see the plots, always have, and how intriguing they are built by the author. Yes! I admit! They kind of scare me off, a bit.

Maybe I am, a bit morbid? Or maybe just a bit nervous about entering the NaNo in a couple of days. Not that I have anything to be nervous about, not really. I’m entering the task with open eyes! I don’t have a specific idea. I have no plot, not even an idea for a story.

My main concern is just to write… every day… for thirty days. Not adding any other expectations at all. And then – it will be, what it will be.

Still, I can’t help thinking – am I able to write a novel, an intriguing story with several characters, scenes and semi-plots that will mix and interact – or counteract – with the main story. Would I be able to make it catching, interesting, exciting – funny? Enjoying? To make it a whole story with ups and downs, with cliffhangers as well as smoothly ongoing parts. To make the characters into living beings, not ending up as flat paper-dolls?

At this very moment – I don’t know. But I realize I might only be seeing the matter in black and grey colours. Maybe there will be a story after all. And if I may wish for, and even pray for – something new that will continue my fantasy story with the work-name “The Solar Eclipse”. And “The mechanical Man”.

Maybe this Mz Eliza Elderberry that suddenly popped into my head a short time ago, will show up there, somehow, in that magical city surrounded by high mountain tops and a large, seemingly dead, desert.
And a weird solar eclipse.

I fear November, but I’m also looking forward to it.

20 thoughts on “Stage fright

  1. For me, a short story is tougher to do well than a longer story form because a short doesn’t give the time or words needed to get deep inside and show the character, the internal and external journey, the way the change needs to be measured at each of the three main stages, and nor does it give me the opportunity to go deep within the soul of the character to feel all the emotional highs and lows that lead to a level-headed moment.
    *smile*

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    1. I have heard many saying just about the same as you. But as I see it, one doesn’t have to go that deep into a persons character.
      About the length of the story, it can very well be up to 100 pages. It’s the other criteria that are the most important.
      Take for example ”The old man and the sea” by Hemingway. It is considered to be a novel, but has the criteria of a short story. The sea, the boat, the accident, the result of the accident, and the man and the boy.
      What do we know about them? Enough, don’t we? But do we know all?

      Maybe this is how it is: At the moment I see the difficulties in building a novel. There are too much that have to be written. In more than one sense.

      And those who think it is difficult to write short stories, maybe think it needs too little and fear it wont show the characters persona enough.

      But for a specific situation, less might be just enough? We don’t need to know all and everything.

      Interesting topic, this. We are all good at different things and how to do them.
      🤓😁

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      1. We all write stories from a different perspective, which is why not two writers, given the same subject and research, will create the same story!

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  2. You can do it! But I have to agree…it’s difficult (and different) – to plot & write a novel. To be good I believe you have to create a very detailed plot (& maybe a whole notebook for characters)… but still it is possible ✌️👻📖

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    1. Hope so. Just the other day I got – how shall I put it – a glass of icecold water splashed in my face (not literally) over how many mistakes I make when I write in english. Well, some of I can take and understand and as such are good for me, and some I gather is just the squareness of the person in question. But never the less, it felt!
      Well! I had almost decided to write my NaNo in Swedish anyway, but what if I find myself writing scenes for my current novel? Which I write in English! Such predicament! But, perhaps I am making this bigger and worse than it is.

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