The scarecrow

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Just the other day I got this book from River Dixon, “Beyond the field”, and I read it later that evening. Then I had to pause, to properly let it into my system. So to speak!

First, you should know (though I probably should’ve let this remain a secret), I hate to write book-reviews! I always have! Don’t know exactly why, but guess it’s because I’ve read so many looong, detailed, and very well written reviews. With examples and even quotes sometimes.

Why not a “less is more”? This “review” is going to be “less”. And I don’t think it needs a lot of words since the story itself is “more”!
(That’s why I’ve written these two paragraphs. LOL)

Yes! It’s a short story that doesn’t take long to read. At the same time, it is a big story. To me, this is also one of the most beautiful stories I’ve ever read. And so well written! And the drawings are so cute!

It begins simply, almost like if it’s a children’s story. But I promise you, anyone can read it – and like it! There is this farmer, his wife, his son, and his daughter. One day they are making a scarecrow, that they will put out on the field to save the crop from all the crows.

It’s just that the daughter paints a huge smile on the scarecrows face…

Now, I’ll just say: get the book, read it – and remember when you’re reading:
You’ll see what you choose to see!

More? Want to read? Don’t wait to pay a visit to River Dixon on The stories In Between 

Time to read

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I am reading!

I doooo read!!!
Just not as frequently as I used to.
That’s okay!
I’ll be back into that habit in a jiffy!

As a matter of fact, I was born with a book in my arms!
Have just forgotten which one.

It must have been a bloody one.

This one is bloody! The one I read now. The story of the Vampire Lestat! The author, Anne Rice, is one of my favorites, and she writes so well. I enjoy every word of it

And gosh how creative she is!!!

Thought I had read this one before, but can’t say I recognize anything! Doesn’t matter. In fact, better this way. Starting from the beginning. Having a whole new novel in my hand to explore. Lestat as young, his life, family, his friends, how he became a vampire.

A smile is lurking in the corner of my lips, since I remember parts of what Lestat have to encounter later.

While reading this, and pleasurably sticking my teeth in a piece of apple-cake, I’m looking forward to read that again.

 

I feel….

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I feel so…
I feel…

I… don’t quite know how I feel, or what I feel.
A least I can’t put a label on it!

I’m not sad, not angry, not … not anything negative, really!

On the whole, I feel good. I like being back in my city, close to my daughters.
I love my apartment, really enjoy living here.

I don’t have many friends, but I love those I have.
I’m mostly alone, but enjoy that! Feel good when being in my solitude and silence.

So far, so good!
But still, there is something. I think the word frustrated is the most appropriate one.

I want so much to write and to read, as I used too.
Not too long ago I got new ideas all the time, and I wrote and I wrote! And I read books by the minute! All the time I had some book in my hands.

And now! Nothing comes to me!
No! Not quite true! Lately, I’ve begun getting ideas again. During the past few months only. Or even weeks. After the move?
Unfortunately neither due for a novel, nor a short story, nor anything like that. But something I could make into a blog post! I’m being out somewhere, and get some kind of monologue in my head. I feel happy about that.

Finally, finally, I can write again! Like I used to!

Then.
When home.
Sitting in front of my computer.
All is lost and all I can see is a huge black mountain which I can’t climb.
Even the threshold is too high for me to climb.
It is so frustrating.

Reading? Well, I do read some. There was a time, not that long ago, when I couldn’t concentrate on reading at all. Then slowly that ability awakened, but I’m still a long way from reading as I used to.

But I do blog, don’t I?
Yes! I do!
And I’m so happy about that enhancement in my writing life, but I can also see most of those posts are quite mediocre. I want to do better!
I can do better!

The best ones,though, are those I wrote during the first months of this blog’s existence. The ones about my Mom and the abuse. I just don’t need to write more about that topic. I’m in peace with Mom! Pity, in a way, but one can’t dwell in the past. It’s the now that counts.

So why do I still have a problem with writing?

In early 2006 I moved to a city some 80 km north from where I live now. Many times during the years thereafter, I wondered why on earth I made that move. Well! I was offered a job there, and there was also a Mr. Somebody whom I thought maybe could be Mr. Right. But both the Job and the Mr soon went down the drain. Picturesquely speaking.

But left, was this push I had got in my butt when the Mr had said:
“WRITE! You have it in you!”

Immediately I searched for writing classes, then I wrote and I studied, got writing friends and kept on like that until 2012. And as you probably understand already, this was NOT the first time I was writing anything literary. I done that to and fro ever since I learned to write. And I read books before that. Read all the time, everywhere, and my mother all the time told me not to. It wasn’t good for my eyes, she claimed!!!

I didn’t realize it just then, but I had during a couple of years developed a burn-out condition. What I had noticed, was that it had become difficult for me to come up with new stories for the classes, and even harder for me to read and then comment on my fellows writing-pieces. For a while, I cheated. From me, I chose old stories to bring instead of writing anything new; and I glanced a bit on the other guys’ texts and then commented something… very general…

But I realized after a couple of semesters this wasn’t reasonable. I didn’t write anything new, I didn’t learn anything new, and I didn’t contribute anything to my writing friends.

I gave up.

So when I say I wrote and worked in the classes with writing until Christmas 2012, it isn’t quite true. I tried to, wrote some, and actually one of my most beautiful short stories I wrote in 2012. But I felt like a failure. A very tired and lonely failure.

It took me a couple of years before I truly realized all this was due to stress. My brain, my mind, couldn’t take my present situation any longer and  – in a way – shut down parts of itself.

Well! I still functioned! I kept doing what I had to do to survive. No one to help me through my daily life, I had to go on. But I kept me more and more to myself since I had no energy left for doing anything else.

I don’t say all was black and sad and lonely and depressed. Oh no! First of all, all these m o m e n t s occurred in periods, and some periods were good! Many days were good! What helped me a lot, was when I discovered my ability to express myself in images, and in making posters and such. Lots of colors. My fantasy had a way to go, through editing photos, adding filters, playing with lensflares and such possibilities. I still do that sometimes, but way back then – mostly between late 2013 til late 2016 – it was kind of lifeline to me

And now! On my way…

Later I used to say, I could from 2012 and forward, very well have worked with proofreading and/or editing texts. My skills and my talent, which I have had all my life, and my knowledge and capability were still intact. What I had lost were the fantasy and the ability to concentrate. But that was frustrating enough!

Frustrating! Yes! Still!
But I’m grateful I now can write blog posts fairly frequently and fairly fluent – even in English. But my own opinion of how I write and even more about what I write – is that it is quite mediocre. I can be more interesting! I can do better! I want to do better!

A cat rescuing me!!! Some vegan thoughts!!!

At the same time, it kind of amazes me, that I’ve chosen to write in English! Why? When it’s so much quicker and easier to write in Swedish? Okay! There are more than one answer, to that question. But the bottom line is, that I’m actually good at writing! In my own language, that is. In Swedish! I have a large vocabulary, I’m really good at spelling, and I know my grammar. I know so much grammar, that I also can bend the rules if I want to. And make the text understandable and “right”!

I’m also good with “showing not telling”, and dialogues. I can make people feel “like they are there” when they read. And I would be hugely ashamed of myself if I had to use Grammarly when writing in Swedish – if there is a Grammarly for Swedish texts, that is…

Writing in English is quite different. It’s not only on commas, that Grammarly and I have different opinions…

Despite all this in my back pocket – 

I can’t reach my imagination, and my brain is still not sufficiently cooperative when it comes to focusing on words! I feel numb!
I’ve been pondering to continue writing on some of my old drafts, I have a couple of quite good ones to chose from. The thought has felt quite appealing, actually. But so far nothing has gotten beyond that thought. 😦

Talk about being frustrated!

And writing in English! – It takes at least twice the time to write something. So blurting out all these words must be extraordinary, and how many hours has this taken me? I have absolutely no idea!

It must be hope somewhere, mustn’t it?

(Also when writing in Swedish I’m very particular,
but at least I used to land it faulty-free there and then.)

 

 

What’s wrong with Kindle?

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Everything, I’m inclined to say. But of course, I should neither judge nor condemn so soon in my acquaintance with Kindle.
Well… if there will be any further acquaintance…

I was one of the lucky ones, who received a Kindle Book gift from Chris Hall on Luna’s online. At first, I was a bit reluctant. Since I don’t have Kindle myself, would it be possible for me to accept this gift?

I didn’t know much about Kindle, other than it is one way to read books online, on some kind of tablet. So, I couldn’t even say whether it is “only” an app or a device with some kind of software developed for book reading. I also knew it had something to do with Amazon, but I admit! My knowledge here was very limited. I’m a little bit wiser now. (With the emphasis on “a little bit”.)

Mainly, probably, since I’m devoted to Apple and therefore have one iPhone, one iPad and one Apple laptop, namely a MacBookPro.
And therefore – I also have iBooks (now called “Books”) including all the benefits of the iCloud function. I can read books on all devices, and jump from one device to another and there keep on reading – if I want to! And it costs me no extra. I could say more about this, but for now – let’s get back to Kindle.

I googled! No no! I yahoo-ed!!! 😀
I searched for Kindle and found only sites where to buy a Kindle reading device. So? Did that mean I couldn’t read a Kindle-book? I had suspected that earlier, and these adds manifested my belief a bit more.

Then Chris mentioned the word “App” – and I listened. (Read: listen = read). I got my hopes back since I all the time I’ve known about Chris and Luna’s online, I’ve liked what she writes and would love to read more!

So I visited Appstore, and goodness gracious! There it was! The Kindle-app! And, for free!!!! So I downloaded it to the iPad.
That was the easiest part of it all.

Okay! Then I had to get an account on Amazon since I couldn’t register directly from the app. But what I saw there, on the screen, made me a bit confused. Mobile accounts? Is my iPad mobile? I can move it and take it with me… hm… do I really have to register an account on Amazon with my phone number?!?!!?!?!?. I absolutely don’t want to do that. NEVER!
Or…  what on earth IS a mobile account???

To make a short-way here – I did find my way to Amazon on the laptop, and to register an account. I also browsed the site for a while, but first…
Back to the iPad!

I logged in, chose some books I would want to read, and suddenly samples of them and a couple of others were downloaded. Then I waited for the mail from Amazon with Chris’ book gift, and I was thrilled about that! And it came, I followed the instructions – and ended up with a – sample???

In between there, when I had clicked the link in the mail I got to this page:

Can not be redeemed in your country… WHAT!?!?!?
This title is not available in your country… WHAT!?!?!?

But I could get a free sample? And the possibility to buy the book?!

At first, I had no idea what all this meant – not redeemed et cetera – and I don’t think I actually missed anything. The only available button was “send a free sample” – so I did push that button! And got a sample. Containing the first short story, the very same one which I already had read on her blog! There was also a little piece of the second short story, but then – it was it!

Redeem: gain or regain possession of (something) in exchange for payment

Then for several (wasted) hours I tried to understand, find information, answers – but find almost nothing. Why redeemed, for example! What does the word redeem mean?

As far as I could understand this, the reason why I couldn’t get the book, was due to some copyright restrictions. But I admit! I had some real trouble understanding what Amazon actually mean with the whole explanation and “help-section”! I just don’t get it!!! And my patience is now up! Finished! Out of order!

And on top of that, they could download the free sample, and tell me to BUY THE BOOK!!!

It was a gift!
And if I can’t receive the gift book
– because I live in Sweden –
then don’t even bother to offer me to buy it!!!
It’ so demeaning! So stupid! So…

After all those hours spending on Amazon yesterday evening and today, I’m highly irritated and brain-tired! I do not want to, deal with neither Amazon nor Kindle anymore. But before ending this post, I’ll try my best to reveal what else I did on Amazon. Besides trying to find information that they obviously don’t publish… or hide really well…

I did some comparing between iBooks and Amazon books, and to me, Apple’s iBooks is a win-win.
I randomly looked for books on both, that I want to buy and read. All of those chosen were less expensive at iBooks.
I didn’t put any energy in finding books on Amazon in other languages than English, on the other hand – I didn’t stumble on any either.
Apple/iBooks offers books in many other languages.

I can get books for free on iBooks, and there are many at very low prices
I don’t know if there are free books at all on Amazon unless you have this thingy… that cost you something each month… and which I couldn’t find the information about the cost… The real cost, I mean, not the first month/months (whatever) for 99 cents.

There are books, Kindle books, that are very low in price, I admit that. But on the whole, I’ll remain true to Apple/iBooks not only for the prices and the languages, but also because I find Amazon’s site is almost totally hopeless and unclear to navigate through.

Further thoughts on “Skinny bitch”

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In my last post, I just gave a quick glance at this book which had made me curious. During the afternoon yesterday, I listened to the entire book. Only four hours, so not much to brag about. The excerpt gave an image of a really funny book, and for sure, there were some remarks that made me laugh out loud, But on the whole, it is – in my opinion – a very serious book about a very serious topic. The excerpt also claimed it was a book about a diet, and okay! I can agree on that as well.

Not your typical
boring diet book,
this is a tart-tongued,
no-holds-barred
wake-up call to
all women who
want to be thin.

With such blunt advice as “Soda is liquid Satan” and “You are a total moron if you think the Atkins Diet will make you thin,” it’s a rallying cry for all savvy women to start eating healthy and looking radiant. Unlike standard diet books, it actually makes the listener laugh out loud with its truthful, smart-mouthed revelations. Behind all the attitude, however, there is solid guidance. Skinny Bitch espouses a healthful lifestyle that promotes whole grains, fruits, and vegetables and encourages women to get excited about feeling “clean and pure and energized.”

But it is also so much more!

Since it is published in September 2007, I’m tempted to call these two women to be precursors to Kip Andersen – the Movies “Cowspiracy” 2014, and “What the Health” 2017.
Well there is much I don’t know about this, the health realm is huge, but I know there is a growing movement now, focusing on eating Vegan, and especially Whole Carb food – Plant strong.

In Skinny Bitch, they are not only pointing out what to eat or not, but also highlight the horrendous way cattle and chicken are being treated on their way to the slaughterhouse, and all chemicals, pesticides, and hormones we stuff our bodies with when we eat meat. Which, by the way, isn’t supposed to be the staple food for us humans,

All this and more, are being presented in “Skinny Bitch” in a very cunningly and yet easily understandable way. Rory and Kim let us also know about the frauds that are made to as all when making us believe milk, cheese, and other dairy products are healthy and that eggs are essential for us.

Maybe this could be true – if eaten in moderate amounts, and in natural ways. Organic, grass-fed, no-stress… do I need to go on?

Cows milk is food for calves – not for humans.
Neither for children nor grown-ups.

Cows milk is not only unfit for humans nutritionally, but it also contains addictive substances. Yes, it makes you feel good, and you want more.
… and that is not good for you…

And behind all this is Big Money! The Business thrives on us! They want us addicted to cheese, f.ex., since they earn more money then! And of course Big Pharma don’t want us to get healthy. They get richer if we stay ill!

So! The fabricated food today makes us sick – and then… the only thing that can make us healthy again, is to take charge of our own bodies,  and choose healthy food! … and skip the drugs from Big Pharma!


For quite many years I’ve studied nutrition and dietetics, including Ayur Veda. All of a huge interest of mine, so I could delve deep into this matter, But for the time being, I won’t.

Maybe later on, when I’ve settled in my new apartment. Instead, I’ll give you some tips on where you can find more about this:

Besides perhaps reading this book, on Netflix you can watch both those previously mentioned movies, Cowspiracy and What the Health, along with other movies on the same theme. Two more examples I remember are: Fat, sick and nearly dead and Forks over Knives. At least I hope you can still find them there, I haven’t had Netflix myself for at least half a year now.

You can of course also find a lot of this on YouTube, where lots and lots keep popping up as soon as you have found the first one. And even more about food and health. You might even go “Raw” afterward…

Google for Whole grain, Vegan, Plant-strong – and you’ll also find a lot about natural health, including you’ll find that many bodybuilders, athletes, and other sportspersons who now are Whole grain Vegan,s since they’ve found out that they are both healthier and get better results as vegans than as “meat-engulfer”.

At last – Just a couple of links to where you can start finding more information:

Engine2PlantStrong

Forks over Knives

This image of the baked potato with chickpeas, I found on “What the Health” homepage

 

Just a hint!

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This seems to be a book well worth listening to. Not as much because of the food advices, but rather for the humorous way of writing these point of views on health – and being slim.

(No, this isn’t a link, neither an audio clip, just an ordinary screen clip!)