Of course, you can’t. How could anyone that wasn’t accompanying me? So, that question was just a clever (?) headline. And now I’ll tell you. It wasn’t adventurous. It wasn’t odd, and neither it was dangerous. On the contrary. It was a very good thing to do.
I signed up to the gym again!
A hard thing when something is stressful, is when it also has elements of good stuff mixed in.
All that time that I drove my grandson to and fro his work, it was really nice to be able to be with him, to talk with him. We reconnected in a really good way, after my years elsewhere, working in another city. And I also had a car available quite a lot!
That's good stuff!
But the fact that he never seemed to be ready and get his drivers license, and the days just went on, grew to weeks and months and then two years and almost five months… until the somewhat hidden stress in me, broke out in this TIA, the mini-stroke.
On top of that, during all these afternoons and mornings, I had very little chance to meet friends and do my stuff! I felt more and more lonely… and tired… until I didn’t even have the strength to do the few things I actually could have done.
So don’t say stress isn’t luring and devious! It lurks behind some good stuff, and how could I say no to my daughter and her eldest son! I had been away for eleven years, for goodness sake.
But then came the unexpected liberation, and after some not so pleasant weeks, I now feel awesome!
So now it was time for me to reach out further. To add gym-sessions to biking, walking and having good times with friends. Went over at the gym today, bought the membership and worked-out for a short while. Just to test how it would feel.
And it felt just great!
I’m very lucky, and immensely grateful for everything!
Maybe I’ll even meet someone special soon?
Wouldn’t mind that at all.
Good old body in good old jeans. Real jeans, made of robust denim – at least I think they are.
They have been hanging for a long time in the wardrobe, waiting for me to be slim enough to wear them again. Oh! There’s nothing wrong with all these stretchy, thin cotton trousers that look like jeans, but the real ones? There is without a doubt something special about them.
And they have been waiting for me. Waiting, And waiting…
“Ah”, I thought this morning. “what about those jeans? They must fit me now.”
I’ve lost 6,5 kilograms so far, approx 14,3 pounds, and I wasn’t obese before. Just overweight. So it shows. And feels. And my friend Marianne commented. “That’s a lot! You aren’t tall.”
“A lot?” I said, though didn’t agree. Not quite. But felt very pleased she said so. I wanted to lose ca 10 – 15 kilograms, circa 22-33 pounds, altogether. Depending on how much training, biking and walking would add muscles and burn fat on my body.
Marianne just threw a half-smiling glance at me. Said nothing.
And then there were the jeans. That I haven’t been able to wear for quite many years now. Though for some odd reason kept on storing in the wardrobe. And today – they sat kind of lose upon my hips. Had no trouble with the zipper, to get it up. Had no trouble with the waistline. No trouble with the button. None at all. My legs almost got lost in them.
I loved it!
But still have no objections to my stretchy ones. They are a woman’s best friends.
After I had published the last blog post here about NaNoWriMo, I opened the site and logged in. Oh my goodness! It doesn’t look anything at all like the CampWriMo´s. I could neither make head nor tails out of it, and it rather scared me than pepped me to write.
If I can’t even figure out how the site works, why should I bother to sign up? If something makes me unsure, how could that then be supportive? I guess I’ve better have my own NaNo-variety. Just write!
And as a matter of fact, if I can’t write without having a metaphorical crutch or two under my armpits, then what? I must anyhow sooner or later be self-dependent on my ability to keep on doing what I really want to do. Preferably sooner. And yes! I talk about writing.
It’s kind of like any medicament. You may have to rely on it for a while, to get you over the worst part of whatever it is. But then you have to take the responsibility yourself, for your own body and its health. Especially when you get nasty side effects. That tells you that your body doesn’t agree with those chemicals. Might have done so, at the beginning you even needed it! But not any longer! There are way better health-roads to travel.
What happened this last week (+ I don’t know how many days), was that I got side effects from one of the medicaments that were supposed to lower my blood pressure. Quite severe ones, and everyone I could get, I think, except for nausea. I won’t bore you by adding a list of them.
I took my last pill of that sort this Wednesday, and I still can sense those “klick-klicks” from inside my chest when my heart goes nuts and the tiredness that still lingers around the blurriness. Though, at least not as severe as at the beginning of the week,
Sitting here now in my sofa (in, not just on) I finally have begun getting bored! That’s a good sign. Tomorrow I’ll probably feel fine again. As I did one week after coming home from the hospital. The TIA was gone, and I was free. I could walk freely.
And then this medicine accumulated in my body…
Now, when pondering whether to write about this or not, I realized one thing. It feels to me as if I have been home again for ages! Or at least six to eight weeks. I haven’t.
I arrived at the hospital by ambulance on Friday, Sept 6th, and came home again Tuesday, Sept 10th. That’s more like four weeks since the TIA happened, and less than that, since I got home again.
Funny, how one can experience time.
Nevertheless, now in the evening when the side effects slowly are running away from me, I’m instead getting bored. I miss writing. I am tired of not having had the energy to take care of my novel in being for several weeks. I am longing to write again. As well as making longer walks, longer bike-tours, seeing more people, attend to more events…
I guess the change is occurring now. My change to the new, healthier, better life. And as a small P.S. – I have now lost 2 pounds, 5,2 kilograms… and continuing…
Goodness, gracious! I haven’t been writing anything for like four weeks or so. Except for a couple of posts to my Swedish blog. A bit easier, and I take it quite casually.
Even though it may seem to be a bit of a blockage in me since the mini-stroke, that isn’t the case, and I don’t take it particularly serious. I’ll come back to writing soon enough.
It’s not that I’m feeling sick in any way, other than it took my physical strength and fitness away in a way that puzzles me, and even more, annoys me. But, I guess the TIA was a “punch” to my entire body and drained me of good condition and strength, even the half that wasn’t affected directly. But I’m sad, I can not yet walk or bike as far as I could before the incident, but that too will come back. Just have to give it some time.
Despite that, I’m good. Reposing, relaxing, going to gatherings, meeting friends. Old ones and new. Not every day though. But enough to be necessarily social and to enjoy myself.
Other days I do whatever I like. I’m reading, watching Netflix, knitting, doing jigsaw puzzles or playing solitaire on the iPad. Or something else. Including taking a nap now and then.
Have lost some weight. Almost 5 kilograms so far (10 lb), in 3,5 weeks, and more will drop. It’s wonderful to be able to wear some of the clothes that have been too tight for a long time, and my almost new jeans are getting a bit loose. Especially around the waist. Seven centimetres there are gone, (almost 3 inches), and my iPhone6 now fits in my left front pocket without any trouble at all, and the belt speaks the truth…
A week ago, Friday, Sept 6th, a TIA happened to me. For those who don’t know, it’s a mini-stroke soon leaving the brain again. But of course, I ended up at the hospital for a couple of days. Came back home Tuesday after lunch.
The whole thing was due to high blood pressure, and the day I left the hospital they also told me I have high blood sugar. I had absolutely no idea about this, but I knew I was rather stressed. Both from residues of old things, and present issues.
How on earth can you suspect you have high blood pressure? It’s easy to say afterwards that one should go to the doctor regularly, but if most of your physical problems are muscle pain and stiffness! Well, at least I didn’t suspect anything. Is being tired a sign of high blood pressure?
Anyhow! Home now. Have got “loads” of medicines, including statins despite the fact the cholesterol showed nothing wrong; and the sugar was just at the margin. Sometimes doctors seem to interpret things more dangerously then actually is needed – as a safety issue? – but the pressure was high. No doubt about that! During the days at the hospital it, of course, lowered but must keep on getting even lower.
What is so typical for common doctors – specialists or not – is that they don’t even think one thought of what might have caused the issue in question. Why is the blood pressure too high! Why is the blood sugar level too high? What’s the cause of it all? They only focus on adding medicines.
And of course! For the time being, it would be stupid of me to refuse to take those medicines. And I at least hope I can drop the statins after this first month. It is certainly not healthy having a low level of cholesterol.
Now so soon after, I’m rather tired. I seem to have lost most of my fitness and my physical strength. But as my friend Maria reminded me of, for a short while I was paralyzed in my right body-half.
Well! This will pass! Meantime I’m focusing on what to eat, and try to relax as much as possible. Luckily I have no less than three big stores with food and other stuff nearby. I even walked to the library this Wednesday (1,3 km) and biked to meet my friends Thursday afternoon (2,8 + 3,4 km). (Biking was easier than walking.)
Been shopping a couple of times, the pharmacy, for some food, and yesterday a kitchen scale. All that went well. Though… I admit… it was rather hard to walk, especially that first day, to and fro the library. My legs ached, especially around the hips and down the thighs. And after yesterdays short walk, I got really tired.
What’s really important now, is to lose weight and get fit again. The food choices first of all, since I realize I can’t force the physical issues too much. What I dislike about the food, is that I have to ALMOST eat a bit similar to LCHF – Low Carb, at least. No fruits… 😦
I normally eat well. Nutritious, lots of veggies, no white sugar, no wheat. I prefer whole grain food, legumes and such. As soon as I see positive results, I’ll lower the amount of chicken (mostly) and eggs (a bit), and go back to a more wholegrain food style, with beans and lentils. I miss “the real food” more than I miss the bananas and apples. And there are berries…
But I guess the biggest problem with this, is that I’m not used to thinking in this way. (Aren’t we all like that…?) And I don’t feel well eating a lot of chicken and other kinds of meat. I never have!
And the app FatSecret stresses me a bit.
But of course – the most important – to get used to eat less! I realize very well I have consumed too many calories for a very long tine! So! Fewer calories, and making sure all the calories count. Are good ones!
But a pleasant start: I’ve already lost 3 kilograms – about 6 pounds – since Friday, a week ago, and 2 centimetres around the waist. I set a goal to lose an additional 11 kg – 22 lb – and 10 cm around the waist. After that – preferably – a little bit more…
But that depends on how fit I’ve managed to become ’til then. More muscles – higher weight…