Some mornings…

Lately it has been really stormy weather. You can for sure call it “a bit of a blow” and certainly don’t mean light breezes. On the contrary. The night before yesterday, I was really glad I was at home behind closed doors, and really happy it all had calmed down a bit in the morning. Also the heavy downpours appeared to have increased, and it was acceptably easy to bike to my daughters place and fetch my grandson.

A couple of mornings, two or three every other week, I drive him to the neighbouring city, and his work there. Well, I drive him there – or fetch – most afternoons as well, but mornings are… mornings. Not my cup o’ tea, so to speak. However, this morning was one of the worst – and best.

The worst, due to the weather. I was lucky while biking through the darkness to get him and the car. It didn’t get wet at all. The day before I had become wet under the raincoat despite a really good one + trousers. My shoes had been soaked, but wise from experience I had brought a dry pair with me and dry socks so I could change. But yesterday I was lucky.

So we left. Still dark. The car indicated it was cold. So were we.

It began to rain again. Quite heavily, and the roads were already soaking wet from earlier. The lights from oncoming cars were blinding, mirrored in wet asphalt and puddles as they were.

Soon enough though, we hit the highway and continued there. Quite heavy traffic at that time in the morning, and soon all hell broke loose. Well, not hell exactly, not even hail. Rain! Rain! RAIN! Like someone had emptied lots of bathtubs over us. I hid behind a lorry (large truck), and stayed there. Felt safer. Why overtake any car, when you can hardly see through the showers, and there might very well be big puddles on the road!?

Not me! I’m a coward, and I have a precious grandson sitting beside me.

When circa five minutes left of the drive, the clouds had begun to be left more and more behind us. The rain stopped raining, the compact clouds began to disintegrate and some blue sky was shown. Now I passed a couple of lorries (large trucks), and the remaining distance all was bright and clear.

So we were there! I dropped the grandson off, drove then to the grocery store nearby, and when finished there – the sun had risen above the horizon.

It was a glorious morning now. The sun stung my eyes, low above the horizon as it was, so I decided to take the old road home instead of the highway.

I had the sun on my left and it was not long until I on my right saw the most wonderful rainbow! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a rainbow like this. So bright and clear in its colors, the whole spectra from red to indigo. And so broad!

Of course I hadn’t the iPhone at hand, so I couldn’t quickly take a photo of it. Especially since I at the same time was about to take a right turn from this road to another. When I finally got hold on the Phone, I was also driving through the village, passed a school and had to both drive very slowly and keep my eyes open for kids on their way to school. So I had to let my hand rest slightly on the steering wheel and take photos all by itself, while my mind was concentrating on the actual driving. So I just clicked away a couple of sessions while passing the village, and hoped for at least some decent photos.

Some were fairly okay, but the images could of course not compare with the real thing.

After passing the village, I relaxed. The rainbow was still there, on my right. Still broad. Still magnificent. But not as sharp and clear any longer. I glanced at my left side. Where the sun was. And wished I could stop the time. At least for a while. Nonetheless, I couldn’t even stop the car! Too narrow road for sight-seeing.

The rainbow was utterly magnificent and beautiful, but what revealed itself before my eyes on the left, was stunning. I don’t know if I can put this feeling in words. I hadn’t even a chance to catch what I saw on a photo. That was impossible!

The air was vibrant, bright and clear as love itself, and the sun shone on tiny raindrops over the fields far away. It looked like a fragile, glittering veil. Oh the brightness! This is how it must be like in heaven!

This utter beauty! I wanted to stay then and there forever, on the other side of time.

The rainbow followed me all the way home, but faded slowly as time went by. The last of it disintegrated in new clouds as I walked from the parking area to my apartment.

Later, after having my breakfast, I saw many images of this rainbow on Instagram. But I wonder – did anyone else but me, see that astonishingly beautiful sun illuminated veil over the fields? And the heavenly bright light all around?

I had some fun with the second photo. Cropped it more, and added a filter to make it a little bit more bright and colorful. However, don’t ask me which filter I used. Forgot almost immediately. But I used Pixlr. My favorite editing program. Particularly on iPad

 

A days work

At first I did this,
and then I did that.
Later I was downtown,
then on my way home.

Then it was lunch, a little bit late
and suddenly it was too warm
to sit on the patio – at all.

Soon I’ll have dinner.
Soon the evening is here
And sometimes I see
something that is not there.

Not too bone idle

To be totally honest, I’m not totally bone idle after all. My moving to a new apartment occupies my mind a lot, and I’m preparing for it. Both mentally and practically. By and by those necessary duties like signing the contract, comes and goes. Done and ready. There are a couple of those left to do, but it’s still too soon.

Meanwhile, I’m going through my belongings. Giving away, throwing away. Letting old things go. Little by little, each day, I get rid of something. Physical things, like books and clothes, furniture and small things. Like those which lies quietly in boxes, filling up space but are actually forgotten. I even found some stamps the other day. I don’t even remember the last time I needed stamps.

I’m also trying to make the patio look a bit better. The lawn is impossible to enhance, but I trim the hedge, try to weed, try to get rid of the dead moss in the lawn, dead due to the long drought this summer, and now lies like a stale brown-yellow covering over. On parts and pieces the grass has reclaimed its place, but on other parts, the moss-lid is still tight, and I try to rake it loose. Can’t say I’ve succeeded very well with the task, but I have at least been able to throw away some of it, and also managed to disintegrate most of the remaining parts.

Yesterday I dug a broader line along one side of the lawn next to the hedge, and that straight line makes the lawn really look nicer. You might even plant some flowers there now, not I, though. Tomorrow I’ll perhaps dig along another side of the lawn. Just the edge there.

What surprised me, was that my back allowed me to do this without complaining much at all…

Click, said the clock

click, said the clock
and told it was midnight
quite a common thing
in this house
the house of night walkers
and sleepers awake

in the silent stillness
under the dark sky
and the bright moon

and the on-going
tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock…

Painting by Salvador Dali – Time exploding

Diary Dear!

Sometimes I get so tired and bored with myself. Especially when I’m tired. And I get a bit angry too, and irritated. Of myself. Doing nothing. Bone idle…

I sit for hours with a solitaire, I’ve four or five that I switch between, two I like slightly more, Forty Thieves mostly. I sit with it while I eat, while I listen to Kryon on YouTube, while I just sit. I can even put away a book, and take the iPad or the MacBook just for the purpose – playing a while with a solitaire.

Nothing wrong with that, per se. Can be a very useful relaxing tool. And I’ve noticed, that if I absentmindedly play a solitaire while listening to something I really want to listen to, it helps me to keep my concentration on listening. If I don’t do it, my thoughts wanders away, and I don’t hear a thing of what I wished to hear.

Awkward maybe, but so it is. Sometimes though, it just gets too much, too many hours of Solitaires and I get bored. And oddly, or not oddly, I can’t find any inspiration to do anything else either.

I even changed the theme for this blog, in an effort to pick me up a bit…
But knowing myself, I might very well change it back to the usual one in a while… perhaps…

BUT! I realized that I’m actually allowed, to “do nothing”. And it’s not just okay, it’s also necessary! After all those years with stress, I now actually can just sit still, doing nothing of value – and not feeling guilty about that!

When I was little, I used to read lots. Not only books, I read everything with letters on it. The texts on cereal boxes, milk packages, commercial folders and so on. And of course, comic magazines, like Donald Duck…
I read at the dinner table, on the toilet, in my bed at night, outdoors, indoors….
I’ve actually read a lot most of my life. Except for those years recently when I suffered from the stress related burn out… and I’m not quite over that phase yet… obviously…

Mom got irritated, or maybe she was just concerned. “Don’t read all the time”, she said. “You’ll destroy your eyes!” Or she could say: “Don’t just sit there with the book, don’t you have anything better to do?”
She meant that I should do something she thought was better. Like folding my clean laundry, or dust my room. Or something.

So in my head, for a very long time, a voice has over and over again said to me: “Don’t just sit there! Don’t you have anything better to do?”

I have dirty dishes in the kitchen now, and I don’t even have a clue what this writing will develop into.

Or maybe it’s high time to urge myself to go to bed. NOW!

I have at least written something today. Not every day that happens, sorry to say.

Painting by Axel Olson, 1931

Thank you!

How come, we so often forget to be grateful for what we already have? If we can’t appreciate that, why do we think we’ll be happier with more?

 

Soul-fulness

img_4993

To meditate, to connect with your soul, is the best thing you can do. For your health, your body, your mind.

Not just 15 minutes a day, but to remain in as much as possible, in everything you do.

While you’re doing the dishes, walking the dog, throwing away the garbage, vacuuming your living space. Instead of watching TV or Netflix. Instead of spending time on social media.

To be connected with your inner self, is to be connected with the real you. With God.

Some might call this mindfulness, but what it really is, is soulfulness.

 

When it happens, it happens.

It has been quite windy for several days now. Storm, I think it’s called, when it blows as hard as this. It has also rained, with heavy showers and also some hail. And it has gotten much colder. This morning it was only 5 degrees Celsius, and the wind was tormenting my face while I was biking to the cafeteria. But at least it was sunny, and kept on being sunny the entire day.

Saturday, on the contrary, was still fairly warm. The sky was mostly gray with clouds hastily fluttering  towards…. everywhere, as it seemed. The weather forecast claimed it wouldn’t rain until mid afternoon, so I biked away! With a load of books on the back carrier, which I would give to the Second Hand store, and another plastic bag with some trousers I recently had received from a friend but didn’t fit me. In the last second before I left home, I also put a rain cape in the bike-basket. If…

Halfway to the Second Hand it started to rain. No, it poured down! And we are not talking about cats and dogs here, we are talking about tigers and elephants!

I managed to drag the rain cape over my head, and tried to make it reach below my knees. Where it didn’t stay while I was biking, of course. The wind wanted it UP, the rain wanted to drown my jeans and I just wanted to reach the second-hand before I was drowned as well.

So I got there, still alive and kicking – though with half-half wet pants. My jacket and the cape had saved my upper 75 %.

I unloaded the plastic bags and then pulled the bike aside, trying to get at least some shelter until the cloudburst had continued on its path AWAY from us. I had in mind to visit the nearby food store to buy some fruit and veggies before turning back home.

Soon enough the clouds floated along, away from us. I led my bike some ten meters away from cars and people, and then was about to enter it.

The pedals were almost totally stuck.

WHAT?!?!?!?

The wheels were alright, so I led the bike to the other side of the street, and examined the situation. Had something got stuck in the wheel? At first I couldn’t see anything odd at all. But the pedals resisted all attempts to move. It had to be something!

THEN!

I had secured the book bag (bookbag LOL) with a stretch band. We call that devise a “squid” since the original, many years ago, was made as a ring with 5 flexible “arms” attached to it. Nowadays it’s only one “arm” left, but we still call it a squid. Really good to secure baggage with.
Anyhow, while having my attention on the rain, on the fruit and veggies, and what to do later that day, I had forgotten about the squid. Which therefore had been hanging on the side of the bike and as such managed to get stuck in the wheel when I started to move… and nestled in on the bicycle chain.

It wasn’t difficult to get rid of that. I only had to move the bike backwards a bit, and so carefully pluck it away. It was oily and icky.

Now I could bike along, coulnd’t I?

Nope…

Now the pedals peddled around all by themselves.
(itself? I came to think of that pedals actually are a pair, and English grammar can be VERY devious…)
(and I know, I invented the peddle-word… in this meaning… don’t want to sell anything… at all… )

Okay! The pedals were totally looooose… could’ve have flown away even… so NOW WHAT???

HA! The squid had forced the chain out of its place. So to speak.

Call for a taxi to take me to my usual bike mechanic?
Nope. Too expensive. Can’t do that. Will soon move to the new apartment… want to shop my… something…  out then…

Walk home – almost 4 kilometers, plus further on to the mechanic 1,6 kilometers.
Are you kidding me! My legs and back would kill me for that! But I have tools back home… don’t need no mechanic… actually…

No! Still to far to walk…

BUT! I suddenly realized.

DaughterM lives only 1 km from were I stood. Maybe I could borrow the car… she’s at work… have to call first… ask… won’t ever borrow the car before telling her first…

I start walking, a couple of meters, phoning, no answer, phoning again, walk a couple of meters…

THEN IT STARTED TO RAIN AGAIN! A TOTAL CLOUDBURST TIMES TEN!!!!

Now my shoes are totally soaked, and most of the jeans legs…
I keep walking…

Beside some bushes a bit further on, I try to drag the chain back on its place…
hopeless…. all I get is dirty fingers… and they hurt…

Try to wipe it off on some leaves, and then I find an old paper tissue…

Try to phone again… and keep walking…

The raining lessens as I get closer to her house, and I think I don’t really want to mess with managing the bike into the back of the car… where on earth does she have her tool box? Has she a toolbox?!

I keep phoning… still no answers…

The rain is more moderate while I take the bike into her patio which has a roof. The sun is beginning to come through the clouds and a little bit of blue sky can be seen.

I turn the bike upside down and once again try to flex the chain over to its place on the nave. Impossible.

She still doesn’t answer the phone. I give up and decide to walk home after all. But at first I’ll go to the bathroom.

I do so, and less then one minute later I see that she had phoned me while I was in the bathroom – to where I of course didn’t bring the phone…

I called her back immediately.
No answer…

I walk home. It hurts in my hips, then in my right knee, for a while in one foot, then in the other, so back to the knee again, and the ass… and then I’m home. 3,16 kilometers according to Runkeeper, and after all – it went very well! 😀

I walked faster than I thought I would! Got not as much pain as I thought I would. And not as much pain afterwards either. WOW! Thumbs up!!!

Then I fixed the chain, and after that I went out for a small biking tour. With dry clothes on, of course. Felt very proud! Especially for the walking bit. Almost exactly 4 kilometers walking! So don’t say biking can’t heal walking muscles as well as biking muscles. If you get what I mean.

And the sun was shining all the time…. until I came home after the short tour. Then the tigers and elephants broke loose again…


This story is not only about a minor chain incident. It’s also about how the spirit within can make someone (me) realize the importance of START WALKING MORE! For health benefit! To make ALL muscles stronger and more flexible. Not only those I call biking muscles. (Yes I have a lazy ass sometimes, really bone idle…)

Stress (mostly earlier) and too much sedentary (mostly earlier but also now), has caused me to develop the stiffness in my body, and it is  NOT good to keep that going! I’ve said that to myself several times, but now I got proof I can do much better than I have been thinking I can!

So now it’s high time to move it, move it, and to heal all of me!

And within, I feel great!!!