Guess what I did today!

Of course, you can’t. How could anyone that wasn’t accompanying me? So, that question was just a clever (?) headline. And now I’ll tell you. It wasn’t adventurous. It wasn’t odd, and neither it was dangerous. On the contrary. It was a very good thing to do.

Couldn’t help myself from adding some colour on my own old photo.
I signed up to the gym again!

A hard thing when something is stressful, is when it also has elements of good stuff mixed in.

All that time that I drove my grandson to and fro his work, it was really nice to be able to be with him, to talk with him. We reconnected in a really good way, after my years elsewhere, working in another city. And I also had a car available quite a lot!

That's good stuff!

But the fact that he never seemed to be ready and get his drivers license, and the days just went on, grew to weeks and months and then two years and almost five months… until the somewhat hidden stress in me, broke out in this TIA, the mini-stroke.

On top of that, during all these afternoons and mornings, I had very little chance to meet friends and do my stuff! I felt more and more lonely… and tired… until I didn’t  even have the strength to do the few things I actually could have done.

So don’t say stress isn’t luring and devious! It lurks behind some good stuff, and how could I say no to my daughter and her eldest son! I had been away for eleven years, for goodness sake.

But then came the unexpected liberation, and after some not so pleasant weeks, I now feel awesome!

So now it was time for me to reach out further. To add gym-sessions to biking, walking and having good times with friends. Went over at the gym today, bought the membership and worked-out for a short while. Just to test how it would feel.

And it felt just great! 

I’m very lucky, and immensely grateful for everything!
Maybe I’ll even meet someone special soon?
Wouldn’t mind that at all.


Good old times

Good old body in good old jeans. Real jeans, made of robust denim – at least I think they are.

They have been hanging for a long time in the wardrobe, waiting for me to be slim enough to wear them again. Oh! There’s nothing wrong with all these stretchy, thin cotton trousers that look like jeans, but the real ones? There is without a doubt something special about them.

And they have been waiting for me. Waiting, And waiting…

“Ah”, I thought this morning. “what about those jeans? They must fit me now.”
I’ve lost 6,5 kilograms so far, approx 14,3 pounds, and I wasn’t obese before. Just overweight. So it shows. And feels. And my friend Marianne commented. “That’s a lot! You aren’t tall.”

“A lot?” I said, though didn’t agree. Not quite. But felt very pleased she said so. I wanted to lose ca 10 – 15 kilograms, circa 22-33 pounds, altogether. Depending on how much training, biking and walking would add muscles and burn fat on my body.

Marianne just threw a half-smiling glance at me. Said nothing.

And then there were the jeans. That I haven’t been able to wear for quite many years now. Though for some odd reason kept on storing in the wardrobe. And today – they sat kind of lose upon my hips. Had no trouble with the zipper, to get it up. Had no trouble with the waistline. No trouble with the button. None at all. My legs almost got lost in them.

I loved it!

Love it!

But still have no objections to my stretchy ones. They are a woman’s best friends.

Just a little deep down self talk

I must say! I do look forward to NaNoWriMo.
Which might be a really odd remark, since I still haven’t written anything since the end of August or early September, thereabout. I have actually forgotten when… the last session…

But I DO look forward to it! I need that little pressure, I gather, to start writing daily again.

Where did my writing-self go? And why has she been gone so long? It’s like it’s harder to restart, the more days and weeks that have passed along without.

Now, now! Don’t be pessimistic, Thêa! It will be alright! Whether you realize it now, or not, you are mentally preparing yourself for November 1st and the whole NaNo-thing.

Everything will be just fine! All that shit is behind you! You are just fine as well! You’re not only walking and biking again! You are seeing friends and – yeah – you hoovered your flat today AND INDEED, even mopped the floors. If that isn’t a good sign – then, what is?

And furthermore, my dear Thêa. You have been THINKING about your fantasy novel!!! Not that you are going to continue writing on that one during November….



Nahhhh…. I didn’t think so, either. You have other stuff to write about.

I did it, after all

Decided to participate in NaNoWriMo. I blame Diana… NO, that sounds awful. I am grateful to Diana, who kindly asked me if I should join, and if so offered me to be her buddy. If anyone else of you who reads this is joining NaNo this November, I would be happy to be your buddy as well. Just search for Thea by Me! 😀

I haven’t the slightest clue yet what to write. I got a name for it in my head, and it will be some kind of fantasy/comic/satire thing with a little bit of romance added. I think. Or it will be something else.

The name? “The lives and whereabouts of Mz Eliza Elderberry”.
The hardest was to get her name. Then it placed itself in my head and after a while, I couldn’t help smiling over it. You will probably not see it, but to me, the name has a multifaceted meaning.

And actually – now I’m looking forward to this! There is just one more question I have to answer before November begins – will I write in Swedish or in English?

Writing in Swedish would, of course, be easier and faster writing, but in English… funnier? freer? More global, naturally, and if I want, I could post snippets of it on the blog once in a while, but…

Well! I have to sleep on that one for a while longer.

One thousand six hundred and sixty seven words per day in average…

It can be done! 😉


Just the other evening I had some kind of Netflix marathon. I watched the last three episodes of “Salvation” and there was no season three to watch! I googled and found out there wasn’t gonna be any season three either.

Thrillers are not usually my first preference when it comes to series or movies, but if there is something more in the story than just killing and other horrible action scenes, I might get caught. And “Salvation” has. Or had…

There were still questions in the plot that were unanswered, and an even bigger question arouse in the very last scene. The asteroid had not hit the earth, but instead, it stopped behind the moon, like pretending to have created some kind of lunar eclipse. Beams of bright light were emanating from behind the moon.

I wanted to know what would happen next! What was that asteroid really? Was it an asteroid at all? But, we will never know, will we?

It also made me think of my own fantasy story, where a huge spaceship has parked in front of one of the suns, pretending to act as a solar eclipse, darkening the city. What is that all about? 😉

About “Salvation” on Wikipedia

“The show centers on the discovery of an asteroid that will impact the Earth in just six months, highlighting the attempts to prevent it and its worldwide ramifications. The show looks at how different individuals and groups of people react to the impending doom.[1]”

And then CBS cancelled the series after two seasons. 😦

Letting go

For a couple of days now, I’ve been occupying myself by cleaning the Mac. Inside, that is, not the outside. That wouldn’t take several days. No! I’ve been going through files and folders.

Actually, I was starting with my writing folders. Found a lot of garbage and even huge amounts of duplicates. Still, haven’t gone through all of it, but at least now I have all that I have in one place. Except for the ones I have in Scrivener. I don’t have to have all those projects in there! Not until I actually start working on them, anyway. (That was a LOT of ‘have’s…)

Then I searched the Hard drive. Tried one search word after the other, trying to find stuff from my past and I found amazingly many. I don’t mean stuff that, so to speak, “belongs” to the hard drive. I mean old stuff that I’ve put there one time or another, and then had become archived for some reason. Among mail, messages, chats, attachments, images… many of which I thought I had deleted a long time ago.

Like mail from the time I was unemployed, which ended for soon four years ago. I thought I had deleted all that stuff long before these last days.
And! Mails from a person at, excel documents, folders and pamphlets, from my last “work-place”. And so on. How on earth can those items have landed in an archive on the drive, when others haven’t? Okay! Attachments are one thing, but mails?

Now, I think and hope, all such stuff is completely gone and never will show up again. And it feels really good to get rid of things from the past. Especially those which are connected to negative periods that I never will face again.

Letting go of the old, opening up to the new!

Scary expectations

After I had published the last blog post here about NaNoWriMo, I opened the site and logged in. Oh my goodness! It doesn’t look anything at all like the CampWriMo´s. I could neither make head nor tails out of it, and it rather scared me than pepped me to write.

… and this was just the beginning…

If I can’t even figure out how the site works, why should I bother to sign up? If something makes me unsure, how could that then be supportive? I guess I’ve better have my own NaNo-variety. Just write!

And as a matter of fact, if I can’t write without having a metaphorical crutch or two under my armpits, then what? I must anyhow sooner or later be self-dependent on my ability to keep on doing what I really want to do. Preferably sooner. And yes! I talk about writing.

It’s kind of like any medicament. You may have to rely on it for a while, to get you over the worst part of whatever it is. But then you have to take the responsibility yourself, for your own body and its health. Especially when you get nasty side effects. That tells you that your body doesn’t agree with those chemicals. Might have done so, at the beginning you even needed it! But not any longer! There are way better health-roads to travel.

You can walk the dog, you know. Even if you don’t have a dog…